January began and ended with a lot of grief. We began the year with the fresh grief of losing Adam's grandmother; we ended the month with another personal loss. My path took a sharp curve in January and I had no idea what the future would bring. (Spoiler alert, I would end up looking back at an amazing year.)
February changed my life my yoga teacher showed me that there is still magic in the world. He took me to his teacher to help with my back pain, and I remembered how to stand straight again. I also took a last minute trip to Albuquerque to have my last conversation with my grandfather. The heartbreaks kept coming, and I was screaming.
Adam and I took a little break from the perceived downward spiral to visit Eric, Shannon and Wesley in Boston. We went to an amazing concert, and the energy was amazing. We also went to the St. Patrick's Day parade and froze. Wesley helped heal our heartbreak, the evening he took our hands and walked with Adam and I.
I celebrated my last day at M.D. Anderson, we took another trip to New Mexico for my grandfather's funeral and we hiked in the mountains. Adam's parents came to visit and they got to experience a Houston thunderstorm.
In May Adam and I went away with friends to a lake house. We finally got to the point where we could talk about adoption without tears in our eyes. I also started my Scholar Warrior classes, and started to learn about a new way to see the world. I am so grateful for all the pain at the beginning of the year, because it led me to this class. I love who I am growing into!
JuneThe momentum of the year really started picking up in June. I started painting and Adam started yoga teacher training. We began practicing in our newly decorated yoga room and tackled a bunch of home improvement projects. We also attended a Supermoon meditation that showed me a different way to admire the moon. (Every month when I see a full moon, I take a moment or more to do a part of that meditation.)
July was filled with celebrations, I began the month with my birthday in Portland. I felt good about getting older, and I was excited to see where this year would take me. Adam and I had a very intense weekend at an Ana Forrest workshop, and then we celebrated his birthday with lots of food and the theater. We ended the month with another amazing trip with Ashley and got to see a live StarKid show.
I am just going to share this post from August: http://changingthefocus.blogspot.com/2013/08/gratitude.html
I started September with my first day at my volunteer position at the Advocacy Center and we ended the month with a family reunion. Adam and I spent time being spontaneous and stopping at random places in California to practice yoga. It was wonderful to take in all the sights and not be stuck to a plan.
I said good bye to my Grandmother in October. Just typing that sentence made me start crying and smiling. However, I am so grateful for my last couple of moments with her. I will always remember her smiling face in the hospital and her final lesson to me. "Always find a reason to smile."
November started with my Grandmother's funeral and a strange sense of closure with all of the recent deaths in our families. It was healing to visit the gravesites, and say good-bye to Adam's grandmother and both of my grandparents. Then we got to celebrate Thanksgiving with Adam's family in Boston.
There were so many moments in December that I felt so grateful this year, but nothing surpasses a moment in Canada. Adam and I had just checked into our room in Banff, and I was taking in the view. When he pointed out a spot on the concrete, the actual spot he called me over a year ago and promised to bring me to Banff. The beauty of that moment was perfect, it felt like so many things had come full circle.
2013 is the year that I began practicing putting more into myself than taking out. I am looking forward to 2014! I am looking forward to unwrapping the presents and learning the lessons that life will provide me with. 2014 will be amazing!