Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Vulnerable

So when published the post on my infertility, I linked it to Facebook.  I don't always post my blog posts on Facebook, however there are some I want to mark.  I was at a training all day do by the time we broke for lunch at 2:00.  I didn't have a single like, and had one comment from Adam.  Adam had read most of the post before I published it, I wanted him to be okay with having that information out.

My ego reared up, and I started to feel regret and sad and lots of other negative emotions.  Once I found my center, and reminded myself that I published the post for a reason.  That the people it would touch may never tell me.  The ego didn't stop telling me a story, the negative feelings dissipated and I refocused on my training and friends.

When I started this work with Daoism, I thought my racing mind would stop. The ego would stop spinning stories, and I would no longer feel less than useful emotions.  Well so far I have discovered that my racing mind has slowed down, however when I am stressed or tired or leaving the present moment.  That racing, the negative talk, can still pop up.  Which is why I practice all the time, so that when game day arrives I don't stay lost.

When I woke up the next day, I got a message from a friend and an E-mail from a stranger.  Those two pieces of communication were beautiful, and I was so grateful that people chose to reach out to me.  To share themselves with me, that is what communication is about.  It is about sharing ourselves, letting other people know they are not alone.  We are never alone.

Question to consider: How many times has someone made a difference in your life and you haven't gotten a chance to let them know?   Can you apply that number to yourself and realize how many lives you have touched without even knowing?

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