Monday, August 4, 2014

Unknown




There is a restaraunt that Adam and I frequent in Houston, by the restrooms they have a giant blackboard with quotes all over it.  Some of the time a quote just jumps out at me, and I continue thinking about it even after I have returned to my meal.  This quote stayed with me for a while, and I was lucky that on Sunday it was still up, so that I could capture the exact phrasing.

"Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage.  Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love." - Rilke

Feeling fear when encountering something unknown is something I am familiar with.  Whether it was running through the house, turning on all the lights, when I was a little girl or stepping out the front door today.   I have had a lot of talks with my teacher about this, he tends to show me the humor in the situation.   I recently attended a healing training where this was a big topic of discussion, the langauge that was used in the seminar was the unknown is neutral.  In the past I was the one that decided the unknown was something to be feared, to run away from, to panic.  

However as I continue to explore, as I continue to understand and accept my world.  I see how wise the people in my life are.  The people that have told me to take a breath, to help me realize that it is okay to ask the question "what is it?," to understand my own certainty, to find stillness before reacting in a stressful situation and to feel alright asking for help.  

I met my need for control always imagine worse case senarios when dealing with the unknown.  I met my need for accepatance by bracing for impact, and believing that if I imagined the worst way that someone would react to me, I was prepared.  How silly I can be, imagining the worse case senarios, and attempting to think my way through a situation that may never happen.  There is a large difference between being prepared and just getting lost in downward spiral of "what if?"  

What is the unkown?  What lurks in the dark?  What will happen in the future?  Who knows?  I now practice focusing on what I have, the tools I have sharpened and feel the certainty that I am enough.  The question always comes up "How do I know?"  I know because I am still here, I continue to grow and learn from the lessons life presents.  Maybe it is not with as much grace as I would hope, maybe I don't meet my standard.  Guess what?  I am still enough, the more I learn and pay attention, the greater I become.  

Question to consider:  What is a new way that you can love something that frightens you?   Or even a new approach?   Can you bring the light into the darkness?

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