I was having a dinner with a friend this past weekend and she said something that I haven't been able to stop think about. When something comes up that I am unable to stop thinking about, it usually ends up as a blog post or draft. (I have a lot of drafts, that haven't quite matured yet.)
She said "I miss something that doesn't exist anymore." The context of the comment doesn't matter, because it is that statement that got me thinking about my desire to recreate emotions, places and people in my life that don't exist anymore.
It is impossible for me to recreate the feeling I had in Calgary when Adam and I made it to the top of the trail in December. It is impossible for me to recreate the feeling I had when Adam and I exchanged our vows. It is impossible for me to recreate the amazing moments in my life, and it is impossible to recreate the difficult moment in my life. However it is possible for me to create a sense of triumph, a sense of vulnerability and love. It is possible to create those feelings again and again. It is possible to live right now and search for those feelings in the moment.
I have focused on recreating feelings or places that no longer exist, instead of allowing things to be as they are. This doesn't diminish the past, in fact for me I almost value those clear moments even more. To know that I will never feel exactly the same way again, is marvelous and exciting. Places and people change, sometimes they change a lot. In those moments when I notice that change, when I feel the loss, it is possible for me to chose and acknowledge the abundance of the experiences before me instead of focusing on something that doesn't exist anymore. It is possible to create a new experience!
Each and every moment of my life is a unique gift, that I can only unwrap if I am actually creating the moment, instead of recreating something that no longer exists.
Question to consider: Do you tend to focus more on creating new experiences or recreating old ones?