Tuesday, November 4, 2014

November 4th

I took this photo on Sunday, when I was doing my morning practice.  I have done a lot of different rituals in our practice space, and I have said a lot of prayers.  This moment brought tears to my eyes, my teacher told us "incense carries the wishes of the heart."   As I watched the smoke rise and dissipate into the room I began to think about November 4th.    So many things have happened in my life on that day.

So I wanted to examine the three events that came to mind as I watched the incense burn.   The most recent was last year, my Grandmother's funeral was on November 4th.  Last year at this time we were in New Mexico gathering with family to celebrate my grandmother's life, to remember and feel her contribution.  I was so grateful that I had been able to get a last minute ticket to see her, to hug her, to talk with her before she passed away.  I will always have those moments and all the other moments with her.  When I was in Nepal on the anniversary of her death, I remember having the silly thought, "would she be proud of me, of what I am doing?"  I say it was a silly thought, because she was always proud of me, she always loved me and just because she has transformed from the earthly plane doesn't change those feelings.   Those feelings are eternal!

The second one was a few years ago, I had a surgery  that morning.   Again people gathered around me to support Adam and I during the surgery and for my recovery.   There is nothing glamourous about dealing with the after effects of surgery, and I am grateful that both Adam and Ashley were there to help me.  There were moments when I didn't think I had the strength to sit up and one of their hands was there the entire weekend to help me sit up or get up.  They both held me while I cried and simply reassured me that it was okay.  I would love to go back and tell that Lenore that not only is everything okay, she will still get everything she wants.  She just needs to let go of what it has to look like.

The third event was 16 years ago.  OMG, sixteen years.  A young boy and girl sat in front of a building lit a white candle and accepted that they were in a relationship.   His hair was long, my hair was shorter, and now his hair is much shorter and my hair is long!   Everytime I light a white candle I remember the stillness and clarity of that moment.  I remember how significant, certain and connected I felt.   So Happy Fourth Love!   Thank you for walking with me for the past 16 years.    Maybe candles also carry wishes of the heart?   Or maybe that candle simply sealed a wish?  Who knows!

Question to consider: Are there any calendar days that seem to attract significant moments in your life?  What do you focus on those days?

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