I started to feel stressed, as my planner continued to fill up and my energy dropped. So I walked out of class this morning at 8 AM, not really wanting to drive downtown to look into teaching classes at an outreach center downtown. I sat in my car for a while, mapping the drive and attempting to figure out what the parking situation might be like. Then I simply decided I was being a little silly, I would find out the parking situation when I got there, I just needed to dive in.
All of these meetings and requests are exactly what I asked for, I asked to be more involved in the community, I asked for people to help, I asked to learn how to be a healer. Now I get to figure out what programs are a fit for me and which ones are not. The only way I will figure it out is to get out of my head and get out there.
So I introduced myself in class today and the instructor immediately spoke up and asked me to lead a guided meditation at the end of class. (That was the moment, the moment I could chose "yes" or "no.") I said "yes," then immediately the butterflies started in my stomach, and I quickly decided to enjoy those butterflies, and still do my work.
I am talking to a group of about 30 people next week about what I do, to see if they want me to teach them qigong, yoga and meditation. Those butterflies are small and everyday they get a bit biggger. Mostly I hear them say "you are not enough." Time to make friends with those butterflies too and let their wings carry me through that talk as well!