Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Worth

Recently I had a tiny little epiphany, and I am sharing it here so that I can remember.

I struggle with self-worth a lot.  I tend to self sabotage myself, as some sort of punishment because I don't think I am worth it.

This particularly comes up at times when I feel ill and don't feel like I am doing my "part" at home.  Since I left my job, I tend to do most of the household chores, cleaning, cooking, laundry...ect.   It makes sense, I am generally have more time at home and some of those things I truly enjoy and others create an environment I enjoy.   The problem comes up when I believe that me taking care of those necessities of life is the only thing that matters in Adam's and my relationship.  

So Monday when I was doing laundry a thought came up.  My role that I love to play in our relationship is to support Adam the best way I can.  To give him time and space to do what he truly loves.  Right now taking care of the household duties is the best way I can support him, when that changes I will change too.  

I confuse what I do for our home with who I am.  The reality is that I am a loving, supportive wife that happens to be unemployed, a volunteer for various organizations, a dog walker, a housekeeper, a cook....ect.   So on the evenings that I feel sick and didn't do my "job" and Adam decides to surprise me with dinner, he is bringing home that supportive, beautiful wife dinner, not the housekeeper.

We are all doing the best we can!  Go a little easier on yourself, especially if you need that extra dose of gentleness and kindness.


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