I find it difficult to keep the perspective about how far I have come in the last three years. I find it very difficult to see the changes that I have been through in the past year as I explored healing and teaching. I still find myself worrying before each yoga class, I still find myself questioning if I will be enough in the moment with the people that I work with. Yet I continue to teach classes, I continue to visit with my patients, and I even accept new offers to practice my skills. I think I expected that at one point it would be easy. I would simply feel like I knew what I was doing and then I would be enough.
Life continues to throw curve balls and more challenges so that I never quite feel like I know what I am doing. So maybe I just need to learn to accept that I am enough simply because I am me. I can accept that my training has prepared me to be whatever the situation requires. More importantly I need to let go of the expectation that life needs to be a certain way. That it needs to be flawless, that falling down means I am bad. Sometimes falling down is what is needed, I love to hear my students laugh when I lose my balance in a pose. I enjoy it when someone offers me a helping hand, though is it difficult to accept.
Now comes the time when I decide if I want to continue my blog, what I will focus on in the upcoming year and just a good time to decide what I want to cultivate in my life. The beautiful thing about adjusting the focus, is I am just adding to what I practice, I still look for the things that make me smile everyday, I still look for creativity, and I am still exploring healing.