Thursday, April 30, 2015

May Third

Has it already been a year?  Has it really been three years since I started this blog.  I started with the simple focus, to find something that made me smile every day.   To look for the good in my life, despite or maybe inspite of all the pain and difficulty that life seemed to be.    

I find it difficult to keep the perspective about how far I have come in the last three years.   I find it very  difficult to see the changes that I have been through in the past year as I explored healing and teaching.   I still find myself worrying before each yoga class, I still find myself questioning if I will be enough in the moment with the people that I work with.  Yet I continue to teach classes, I continue to visit with my patients, and I even accept new offers to practice my skills.  I think I expected that at one point it would be easy.  I would simply feel like I knew what I was doing and then I would be enough.   

Life continues to throw curve balls and more challenges so that I never quite feel like I know what I am doing.  So maybe I just need to learn to accept that I am enough simply because I am me.  I can accept that my training has prepared me to be whatever the situation requires.   More importantly I need to let go of the expectation that life needs to be a certain way.  That it needs to be flawless, that falling down means I am bad.  Sometimes falling down is what is needed, I love to hear my students laugh when I lose my balance in a pose.   I enjoy it when someone offers me a helping hand, though is it difficult to accept.  

Now comes the time when I decide if I want to continue my blog, what I will focus on in the upcoming year and just a good time to decide what I want to cultivate in my life.   The beautiful thing about adjusting the focus, is I am just adding to what I practice, I still look for the things that make me smile everyday, I still look for creativity, and I am still exploring healing.  

Question to consider: What are you focusing on right now?   What do you want in your life?

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