Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Cause and Effect

So I signed up for a half-marathon way back in December.  I decided at that moment that I was willing to put myself through the training so that I would be able to cross the finish line in the happiest place on earth with my best friend.    I decided my body was capable of running 13.1 miles, even though I had never run that far before.    As I started the training, I had a couple of little set backs, a fall that kept me from running for a week, and the normal aches of pushing my body to do something new.   Then the setbacks became a little bit larger and I was advised to stop running and then I had surgery.   I had no idea how was going to complete my training and get ready for the race.  

So once I was cleared by my doctor, I started running again and I pushed it.   I pushed it way too much, and I ended up with another injury.  I ended up not only having to take a break from running, also from yoga, from my daily activities.   I was told to sit on the couch with a heating pad and watch movies.  

Which also meant I got to sit with myself, with my mind and make up all kinds of stories about what a bad person I am.  About how I am not enough.   Basically I made up a soap opera in my head, to the point that even though I was laying down I was in no way resting or helping myself get better.   

So this morning I got up 4, I took my shower and got ready for the day.  I headed to class and about 20 minutes in I threw in the towel.  I hit that point where I was done torturing my body attempting to prove that I was strong enough to still function despite the pain.   I was done.   So I drove home, sent an E-mail to my supervisor and crawled back into bed with Adam, Sterling and my heating pad.  

I was finally able to take the emotion out of the situation.  I pushed myself too hard, too fast and for too long; so now I get to rest and recover.  My running training program talks about the damage athletes do by not resting, by not taking time to recover, by simply not listening to their bodies.  

So here I am listening to my body and hanging out with my heating pad.  I don't know what Sunday morning will bring.  I may get to finish the race, I may get picked up in the first mile.  It doesn't matter.  I still get to be in the happiest place on earth with my best friends.   I still get to put on my green sparkly skirt and know that my body is strong enough, that I am enough regardless of my ability to run 13.1 miles on Sunday.

Question to consider: What does your body need today?

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