Wednesday, October 21, 2015

50,000 words

When I write I tend to censor myself, I don't mean edit, I censor myself.  I don't even allow certain ideas or words to be written down.  I am not just referring to my blog, it makes sense to censor what I put on the internet, I do this with my own journals and my personal writing.   I recently have made the commitment to stop censoring my self in my personal writing and I have found it difficult, at the same time I have also been surprised by how easily the words flow and how much more I want to write.  How much I have bottled up, that is waiting to just get out.  

I have been staring at a door for years, I have had people putting the door in front of me for years, peering into the doorway with people encouraging me and have never comitted to walking through.  This weekend I made a comittment to walk through that door, to dedicate myself to something and find out what it looks like.    I signed up to compete in a contest to write a novel in the month of November. To write at least 50,000 words.  This link will give you more information if you are interested: http://nanowrimo.org/how-it-works

So while I am brainstorming for my novel, I have also been practicing writing without censoring myself.  To get the words on the paper, to worry about the editting later, to see where my thoughts take me and let the story unfold.  

I shared the fact that I was doing this with a good friend and he was excited.  He wanted to sign up as well and make a pact to share the novel at the end of the month.  This terrified me even more, so maybe it is exactly what I need to do.

I was so disappointed I missed out on a conference featuring some of my favorite writers, and Adam has shared some of the talks that he recorded with me.  Adam kept saying I needed to be there, I needed to hear these authors say that people who write, have stories that the world needs to hear.  That people that tend to have anxiety and depression have voices that need to be heard, despite what the mind says.  

I decided to listen to the voices that are telling me to do this and find out what happens, instead of the voices that are telling me I have more "important" things to do and I don't have time to write.  Now I am deciding that writing is an important thing to do, and some of the dumb stuff I do is just going to be left out.  

Question to consider: What is something you tell yourself you don't have time to do, but really want to do?  Will join me in November and see what happens if you decide that is important?

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