Friday, October 9, 2015

Color

This morning I had a few moments when I felt like "myself" again.  So I looked around for something to do and after putting in a load of laundry I sat down in front of my ipad to color.  I have been watching some talks on vulnerability, so I decided to put those on while I colored dragons.   

I loved coloring as a child, I was never very good at drawing, I loved to color.  To add something to someone else's work, to have the freedom to decide if if was the clouds or the sky.   To watch a black and white drawing that already had so much life change and evolve.  When I first bought this coloring book, Adam had to talk me into it.  The drawings are so spectacular, that I was worried about ruining the art.   I didn't want to make a mistake, the art kept calling to me though.   So I finally started, just by coloring the trees, and watched the art evolve and the lines tell me what to color and what to leave.   

I got stuck with frustration of not having the colors I wanted, and not having the skill to mix the colors properly to get the exact color I wanted the castles to be.  Finally I just started testing colors, and saw new possiblities.   

As I continue to work my way through this coloring book I am completely intimidated by all the blank space, by the artist that created the work, and I feel small.  I wonder how I can possibly add to the picture.   

So I look at what the artist himself wrote:  "Color it in.  Don't color it in.  Make Mistakes.  Make it your own."  

Everytime I sit down to color, I read those words, and when I worry about making a mistake, I say them outloud.  Because as I color I am practicing being kind and gentle with myself.  I am practicing being creative and falling down and learning to pick myself up.   I am learning to zoom out and expand.  I am remembering what it was like to be a child.

Question to consider: What simple things did you love as a child?   Can you find some time to add those things back into your life?  

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