So I went to a specialist and learned this was not going to be a quick fix. It would get better on it's own time, not my time, not a doctor's time, the body would heal according to it's time. I was given a new diet and a list of herbs to experiment with, to see what made a difference. A few more tests were ordered and I felt like my life had been completely changed.
The scientist in me understands there is a difference between causation and correlation. The scientist in me wants to know the mechanism of why something works, wants to look at the chemistry and the medical studies. However I get to simply experiment with what makes my body feel better, what helps me heal. I get to read books, and information about why something might be helpful or hurtful, in the end it all comes down to me. If it works, maybe I will understand why, it doesn't matter I need to accept that it works.
This experience has been completely overwhelming and I am not out of the woods yet, in some ways I haven't entered the woods. I don't know how long it will take and I have chosen to ask for a break from my jobs and my teaching so that I can heal.
I am focusing on things that bring me comfort, like warm drinks, warm hugs and cute adorable pillows!
Question to consider: What brings you comfort?