Saturday, August 27, 2016

Discouraged

I have been getting a lot of support an encouragement from friends about my writing lately.  It has been awkward for me to hear from people that have been reading my writing for a while now, to hear people tell me that what I write about make sense, to have people thank me for being open about what my journey and experience have been like.  For most of my life I have wrote things down, it has been a helpful process for me to gain clarity and understanding.  However I never thought my writing was anything unique, that I had anything to say of value.  

I decided to challenge that belief and all the voices in my head that were telling me people were just being polite and kind.  I decided to apply for a writing position, and anxiously waited to hear back.  Based on the title of this post, it surely comes as no surprise that my application was not accepted at this time.  

When I saw the rejection notice, immediately all those voices started screaming "we were right, you have nothing to offer."  I did the only thing I could think of, I started writing.  I keep writing through the tears, so forgive my mistakes in this post.   I have nothing to offer that specific company, at this specific time right now and I may never be a professional writer or even a "successful" writer.  But it is not going to stop me from writing, from sharing.

There is a saying "when you feel discouraged, encourage others."  I don't feel like encouraging others right now, because I don't know what I would say.  By sitting down to write, I am encouraging myself, I am reminding myself that there is value in what I have to say.  My writing has been rejected before, many, many times and I am still writing.

It hurts and those voices have more fuel to say hurtful things to me.  Here is the proof that I can feel discouraged and still write, that I can feel hurt and still keep going.  I made the mistake before to stop writing and sharing, so today maybe I will make a new mistake.  

Question of the day: How do you respond to discouragement?  

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