I was walking through the grocery store last week, remembering how good toast tastes. I was looking for something to help settle my stomach and a bit of comfort food. I found myself grabbing the usually veggies I eat because I have that pattern and looking longingly at the bread. I started thinking about the foods I eat now and wondering what might satisfy that craving of bread. Mostly I wanted my stomach to settle down, I wanted to feel better and at some point in my life toast was the magic cure all for nausea.
Times have changed and there are other things that help me with nausea, so I focused on those. While I haven't had much of a reaction to gluten the few times I have had it, I have learned it is better not to experiment when foundations are already low.
The flip side of that is when foundations are low is when I am most aware of all those temptations. Whether it is lack of sleep, a hard day of work, or just lots of little pebbles of stress, there is a tipping point. That is the point and the edge where willpower feels exhausted and skill becomes a necessity. The skill of knowing thyself, I didn't get bread because I know it does not makes sense when I am not feeling well to add more unknowns in the equations. If I had chosen to get bread, it would have been because it made sense to me that it would help with the nausea. Neither choice is wrong, it is simply a matter of understanding myself and identifying what I need.
A couple of months ago I had a bad reaction to some medication and got extremely sick, and honestly was not able to even stomach any other food then some toast. So Adam went out and bought me some bread, because I didn't know what else I could eat. It made sense.
The next time you find yourself eating something or buying something you "shouldn't," ask yourself "does this make sense?" Being able to understand what you want, what you need and the context of the situation have helped me approach temptation with much more clarity.
In the last year, I have changed my lifestyle, what I eat, what I wear, what I do for fun and it is not the first or last time in my life that things will change. I am no longer the bull in the china shop, velocity and force are not terribly useful when it comes to my health. So it will remain one step at a time, and I will continue to learn patience and trust even while I feel like the world is passing me.
Question of the day: Look back at a moment when you gave in to temptation and felt guilty about it. Zoom out of that moment a little bit by taking out the emotion and look at the context and the outcome. Did it make sense? Did you learn something from it?