Monday, November 7, 2016

Permission slips

Anyone else remember permission slips?  I would take one home for my parents to sign and then I would be free to go on field trips, or participate in extra activities.  Permission slips were this piece of paper that offered freedom and play.  So when I was listening to Brene Brown discuss writing yourself permission slips it seemed like a fun idea.  

"I give myself permission to rest."

"I give myself permission to play."

"I give myself permission to accept that something is near and dear to my heart."

"I give myself permission to fail."

It might seem a bit silly, who needs to ask for permission to look after their own needs?   I probably don't need permission, but written words are a bit of a talisman for me.  Having something in my pocket, that I can feel and touch, that can bring my focus back is something I need right now.  

While I was writing myself permission slips, I got really curious about why some things are so difficult for me.   Why it can be so hard for me to rest, when I know the benefits of it?  Why do I push myself on the days I feel good, what would happen if I used that day to really rest and play?  

This comes back to those same gremlins, the gremlin of not being enough, the gremlin related to being judged and found wanting.  How do I face those gremlins?  How do I approach those fears in a way that strengthens me?  Because right now, I do worry about what other people think.  I do wonder when people read my writing, that someone is deducing about me.   How do I get clear about that?

I need to get clear on the people who's opinions actually matter.  The people that are honest and vulnerable with me, the people who can raise me up or bring me back to earth.  These are the people that have seen me at my best and worst and love me because of who I am, not some image I project.  These are people that have earned my trust and that I trust with my stories.  So I created a sacred little space on a piece of paper and wrote a few names down.  

This little paper gives me permission to not let other people affect my worth.  To create a boundary, between what I do and who I am.   Because I welcome critiques and help with what I am doing, I have also been letting it affect my worth and how I see myself.  I have been letting the external image drive me, and as someone that is drawn to the allure and illusion of perfectionism, that is a destructive motivation for me.  

I can aknowledge that what people say and do can hurt my feeling, can make me feel proud or bring up all sorts of emotions.  I am not those emotions and the majority of people I interact with on a day to day basis do not get a say in my value and ability to contribute.  

Question of the Day: Take some time to write some names down on a small piece of paper, take some time to get clear on who's opinions really matter to you and who you are just pandering to or trying to please.  Does this exercise create some freedom in your life, or free up some energy?

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