Friday, February 24, 2017

Focusing on the sincere questions

I was in Vermont a number of weeks ago, and haven't quite processed it all, so stay tuned for a post on the Spoonie Collective and my experience.  However one of the people I met, Joseph, is the founder and executive director at The You Rock Foundation.  Grateful and curious are not large enough words to describe what it was like talking to Joseph and hearing a bit of his story.  One part of this foundation is to have people post selfies with their message and mission.   One of the signs that you can print out is "I Matter Because...."  There is plenty of blank space to fill in your answer.  

I was really glued to scrolling through these photos and reading peoples different expressions, one night when I couldn't sleep.  The next morning, I woke up and did my meditation and some of those signs popped into my head, I immediately started crying.  So my practice that morning was crying, just allowing the tears to fall.  

Later while I was driving to work, I got a bit curious about the crying was all about.  In that moment, I didn't have a sincere answer to that question; "why do I matter?"  So while I was driving I started thinking of all the possible answers and nothing was sincere at that moment either.  Hilarious that I am driving to go teach yoga and I still felt like I didn't matter.  

So why write about this?  Why share?  Because this is a place I visit often, that feeling that I am easily replaceable to the people in my life.  I no longer live there, but I visit quite often.  Why?  Because it is a part of the human experience, there was nothing to fix.  I didn't start searching for the people in my life to tell me why I matter, because I was not in a receptive place.  It would've turned into an silly argument because I wanted to be "right."  So I just explored that emotion for my car drive.  

Now it is a number of days later, and I still find myself searching for a sincere answer.  However that is when it hits me, I don't want a sincere answer, I want the perfect answer.  I want the answer that will resonate with me for the rest of my life and that I can go back to every time I visit this place.  Guess what?  There is no perfect answer, there is the answer I have in the moment, the answer that helps me start building my steps out of the dark hole.  The answer builds on itself with each step, until I climb back into the light.  Asking the question sincerely and being receptive is the state changer.

Even my silly answers for example, "I matter because I gave my husband a kiss on the cheek and he smiled;" are steps and perfect in their own way.  The beauty of the idea about why I matter, is it can be fluid and dynamic, because I am fluid and dynamic.  

I asked Joseph how he came up with those words and he shared the story about coming up with a simple and powerful catch phrase.  He came up with "You matter. You're needed.  You rock."  His foundation "is committed to transforming survivors into thrivers."  Please check out the link, watch the videos and see how everyone has a story to tell.  Maybe you will feel inspired to start sharing your own stories in your own way.   

Question of the day: Why do you matter?  Embrace all the answers that come up, don't be stubborn like me and think there is a "perfect" answer.  Every answer is perfect!

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