Fast forward three years and I am preparing my first trip by myself since my diagnosis. I am going on a retreat in Vermont hosted by Suffering the Silence, called the Spoonie collective. Honestly I am excited but I am also scared and my mind is making up hundreds of stories.
I have searched for every possible excuse to cancel this trip and Adam keep nudging me forward. He keeps encouraging me and telling me I can do it. It is going to be a leap into something I am really terrified to do, everything is set up for success and I still feel like I won't be enough.
However, I love traveling and this is an amazing opportunity. I am so lucky to have been chosen to attend and contribute to this event. I have been inspired by so many of the stories on Suffering the Silence, I can't believe that I get a chance to tell my story before a live audience. I have to take this chance.
In some ways I feel like I owe it to that person that traveled to Nepal three years ago, excited, scared and came home full of life. I owe it to that person that loves adventures and going into discomfort.
Travel doesn't look the same anymore, I pack a lot more stuff, and I travel with catheters and medication; but I can still do it. Now is my chance to prove it to that stupid little mind that I can still do the things I love. This is my chance to remember I am not defined or limited by my condition.