Sometimes I am just flat out scared....
Three years ago this month, I left for an adventure. I traveled to the other side of the world to Nepal and completely fell in love. I fell in love with the people there, the mountains, the lake and traveling by myself. If you click on the link to three years ago, you will see my smiling excited face.
Fast forward three years and I am preparing my first trip by myself since my diagnosis. I am going on a retreat in Vermont hosted by Suffering the Silence, called the Spoonie collective. Honestly I am excited but I am also scared and my mind is making up hundreds of stories.
I have searched for every possible excuse to cancel this trip and Adam keep nudging me forward. He keeps encouraging me and telling me I can do it. It is going to be a leap into something I am really terrified to do, everything is set up for success and I still feel like I won't be enough.
However, I love traveling and this is an amazing opportunity. I am so lucky to have been chosen to attend and contribute to this event. I have been inspired by so many of the stories on Suffering the Silence, I can't believe that I get a chance to tell my story before a live audience. I have to take this chance.
In some ways I feel like I owe it to that person that traveled to Nepal three years ago, excited, scared and came home full of life. I owe it to that person that loves adventures and going into discomfort.
Travel doesn't look the same anymore, I pack a lot more stuff, and I travel with catheters and medication; but I can still do it. Now is my chance to prove it to that stupid little mind that I can still do the things I love. This is my chance to remember I am not defined or limited by my condition.