Showing posts from May, 2018

Waiting for Transformation

Before I start writing I take a moment to pause, to listen to my breath and center myself.I ask for some guidance and illumination.Writing is therapeutic for me, it is one way that I start to work things out.It is one way that I claim what is going on and clarify the next steps I need to take.It sounds like this beautiful linear process.
I have been very sick, and still waiting for tests to help understand what is going on.I spent a week at home sick, a week in the hospital and I am still home sick.I am learning to eat and drink again, learning to slowly move and stretch again.It takes work.In fact, today is the first time I went outside by myself in weeks.
It is embarrassing, to go from sixty to zero and not know when I will be back to full speed again.It is frustrating, discouraging and isolating. However, it is still part of the human experience, and I am doing my best to put one foot in front of the other.What does that look like right now?
I eat very slowly, take frequent naps a…

Returning to Roots

When I started this blog, I wanted a year of pictures a year of things that made me smile.I wanted to be able to look back and remember that in some of my darkest times I still found a moment each day to smile, to be grateful, to laugh and to notice more than my struggle.It was vital to my survival.Why?Because Joy matters!
It is a stressful time right now, I am scared, overwhelmed and in this horrible brain fog.I only can see the step in front of me right now, and it feels unsure and steady.(Hence, I am up at three in the morning writing this, instead of working on my homework.)I find myself looking for the things that bring joy to my life, and I am a bit out of practice in remembering to take pictures.
Life is difficult, hard and heartbreaking; I see lives change everyday as part of my work.It is too short, loves.Those moments of joy, of peace and even calm beg to be noticed and celebrated.In the last week I have had many of those moments.I got to watch one of my dearest friends ma…