Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Week 2

There is a saying "seven times down, eight times up."  I lost track of how many times I have had to pick myself up, but I do it.  I learn and hopefully make changes that keep me growing and work to thriving again.  Armed with a few new recipes I started the week strong, I was starting to get sick of all the meat and tried more seafood.  My brain fog started to get worse and as my doctor's appointment approached I was having to force myself to eat.  I didn't have an appetite, and nothing sounded really good. 

Then I had my doctor's appointment.  Fuck, the test results didn't show anything abnormal (YEAH!) but fuck.  I had put a lot of eggs into that basket, I had put my hope that answers were coming and we were finally circling around something specific that would help.  I was in shock, and I couldn't bring myself to eat at home. 

It is a strange thing to be upset about test results being normal, but it is where I am.  Adam took me out to dinner and I decided this diet was not going to work the next week.  I had made a decision to go to Dallas for three days and I couldn't figure out a meal plan.  Like I said the brain fog was getting worse and then emotions complicated everything further. 

So I "cheated."  I woke up the next day with horrible stomach cramps.  So clearly I ate something that made my body extremely unhappy.  But I needed to break from all the meat and was extremely discouraged and disheartened.  I will do my best this upcoming week to avoid certain things, but traveling and being away from home for two trips makes it difficult.  Especially when it is a last minute thing.

The diet is helping, and I will return to it.  I will post next week about how not keeping to the diet changes things, like I said this is a journey.  I am being honest about the fact that this is difficult.  For the next week it is on pause, while I pick myself up and head back into that arena.    

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”  ― Theodore Roosevelt  

This is the quote that comes up so often and encourages me.  It reminds me that life's journey is not always pretty, or pleasant; but it is worth it.  

Question of the day:  What is one of your favorite quotes that helps you pick yourself back up when you are disheartened?  I have a huge fascination with quotes, they have served me since I can remember.  It reminds me of how connecting the human experience is, that someone has walked this path before and was able to capture their journey.  

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